Nathan talked about it at dinner last night. "Mom, all you have to do to make my vampire costume is sew some black pants, sew a striped shirt with a cape attached and a vest. That's all."
that might be easy if I knew how to sew those things.
Nathan has been learning more about fasting. We told him that since he turned 8, we want him to try to fast at least one meal now. He has taken it to heart. This type of conversation has happened a number of times. "Mom, I am fasting tonight. Wait, what are we having for dinner?" I tell him. "Oh, yeah, I am fasting." We are trying to teach him the true concept of fasting here and not just when mommy cooks something good or bad in his opinion. :)
Eli pooped yesterday then brought me the wipes. At this stage, he might be potty trained before his brothers. I have been working with James and John, and James has been able to go in the potty sometimes. John talks excitedly about the potty, but has not really gone in it.
Eli loves to say "I did it!" In his baby language whenever he does something. He likes me to acknowledge that he did it and then he will do something else and say it again and again, and I acknowledge it. It is so cute.
Since I am almost 30, 30 things I have learned in my 20s...
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Things I have learned or how I have changed. And I am still working on them of course!
1.
Our true worth is not dependant on what we do,
our talents, or any other thing.
Our real worth does not ever change. (I knew this already, but some of my experiences taught it
to me on a deeper level.)
2.
I learned more that the Savior is always there
for us no matter what we go through or what we struggle with.
3.
I learned how merciful and loving, kind, and
forgiving, and wanting to forgive is our Heavenly Father. I knew these were His traits, but I
feel that I have come to know that He is more like this, not a demanding,
strict, stern, unforgiving God. He
is perfect.
4.
I learned to not run faster than we have
strength. Sometimes in our lives
we can do more things than at other times. We need to be mindful of this counsel for ourselves and
families.
5.
I became (I think!) less judgmental and
hopefully more compassionate. I
think going through life’s experiences can do that to most of us, in general if
we let them, no matter what we go through.
6.
I learned more and to a deeper level that God is
always aware of us and our specific circumstances.
7.
I learned that the Savior suffered for each of
us personally, not just for “sickness” in general or “suffering” in general,
but for each of our sicknesses, pains, sorrows, sins, etc. He knows exactly our circumstances and
exactly what we went through. This
was a personal thing to me as I was taught this.
8.
I learned that the person is always more
important than the event, schedule, or meeting.
9.
I learned that your best is acceptable to God,
no matter what your best is. The
story of the widow’s mite is very close to my heart and means a lot to me. That story has been in my mind and thoughts
often through the years.
10. I
have learned how important the work of motherhood is and even more of its
significance. Even as I get older
I continue to realize how important my mother was and continues to be to me and how that love of a
mother is one of the very greatest things and is unequaled in its significance on
this earth. God’s love is the only
thing greater I think.
11. The
smallest acts of kindness can go a long way. Follow your promptings, even if you don’t understand them
and sometimes they can be small for you, but big for someone else. I have learned this. Also, the smallest unkind remarks
can also hurt someone who is already in pain.
12. God always wants our ultimate happiness,
even when we don’t understand the things we have to go through at the time.
13. Allow
others time to heal from pain, sorrow, suffering they have gone through. Allow them to share or express their
pain, sorrow, frustration, or whatever they may need. Listen and love and do not judge as best as possible. We all need each other sometimes.
14. Find
happiness in the small moments, no matter what they are. A child laughing, a funny joke, a small
act of kindness, the beauty of the world, whatever it is.
15. Family
history brings a special spirit into your life. (I knew this already, but learned it even more.)
16. Have
fun, relax, and be creative! What
a blessing those things are.
17. Relationships
are the most important thing—already knew, but life just makes you keep
realizing this, I think.
18. Consistency
is very important in any area of our life—health, spiritual, etc.
19. Be
kind to yourself and others. Have
charity toward yourself as well as those around you.
20. To
not take the simplest of blessings or the things we have been blessed to be
able to do for granted. (always have to work on this, right?)
21. God
has confidence in us. As
mothers. As his children, and
fathers, etc. And if He has confidence
in us, that says a lot.
22. Being
Christlike is a much more important thing/trait than someone who is scheduled,
gets things done on time, etc., or whatever it is. Those things are good!
But being Christlike is more important I believe.
23. Heavenly
Father and the Savior love us so much and are happy when we are happy and sad
when we are sad.
24. Reach
out to those who are struggling in life.
Or who are suffering. Don’t
wait to be asked, if you see a need or can think of something to do, do it
without being asked. Just being a
friend and loving someone is always great. We may not always know what to do of course, but we can do
our best to love.
25. Sometimes you might be the mother
you never said you would be….and your kids will throw tantrums in the store and
you might have a messy house at times…but you are still awesome and so are your
kids. J
26. People
are just people. We all need to be
loved, no matter how old, or what we have been through.
27. Actually
LIVING the principles of kindness and patience are hard when you find your
newly 3 year old twin have put all, or almost all of the clothes from their
drawers into their brother’s crib and one of them got in there and is jumping
with the baby on the clothes after you put them in bed.
28. Simplify
things. Keep it simple.
29. It can be hard to be 3
sometimes. Or 1. Or 6. Or 8. Or
29. Or 32. Just be nice.
30. Find
joy in the journey!
August 28, 2013
There have been a lot of things that have happened recently.
Our anniversary, Nathan, James, and John's birthday, Nathan's baptism, me going to Education Week with my Mom and sister Laura, seeing family, etc. We are now getting ready for school to start soon!
Here are a few things though that I want to remember and write down because they are funny to me.
Mary: Mom, I will give you a week to come look at how I organized/cleaned my room.
(I liked the time frame she gave me, but it only took me a day or less I believe.)
Nathan: Yeah, we don't be mean to people, gassup,....
after he finished his sentence I stopped him and he explained that he meant gossip. I couldn't stop laughing for a while.
Mary: Dad, we didn't practice our family home evening lesson.
Matthew: That's okay. I will help you.
Mary: Our lesson today is on treating others nicely. Then she talked about how we treat animals. (so cute) and then she said: Nathan, would you like to volunteer on telling us about how we treat others?
I thought it was cute after she said she hadn't practiced, but I know she was just trying to give a good lesson as she could, and she did a good job.
During Sacrament this last week, James got one of the cups of water they pass around. He wanted another one. I explained to him, trying to whisper in his ear, that everyone only got one. I said something like: Everybody gets one. He smiled at me a little sheepishly and said: Everybody gets two?
I like our kids. :)
There have been a lot of things that have happened recently.
Our anniversary, Nathan, James, and John's birthday, Nathan's baptism, me going to Education Week with my Mom and sister Laura, seeing family, etc. We are now getting ready for school to start soon!
Here are a few things though that I want to remember and write down because they are funny to me.
Mary: Mom, I will give you a week to come look at how I organized/cleaned my room.
(I liked the time frame she gave me, but it only took me a day or less I believe.)
Nathan: Yeah, we don't be mean to people, gassup,....
after he finished his sentence I stopped him and he explained that he meant gossip. I couldn't stop laughing for a while.
Mary: Dad, we didn't practice our family home evening lesson.
Matthew: That's okay. I will help you.
Mary: Our lesson today is on treating others nicely. Then she talked about how we treat animals. (so cute) and then she said: Nathan, would you like to volunteer on telling us about how we treat others?
I thought it was cute after she said she hadn't practiced, but I know she was just trying to give a good lesson as she could, and she did a good job.
During Sacrament this last week, James got one of the cups of water they pass around. He wanted another one. I explained to him, trying to whisper in his ear, that everyone only got one. I said something like: Everybody gets one. He smiled at me a little sheepishly and said: Everybody gets two?
I like our kids. :)
Fuss, fuss, and gratitude
First of all, I don't intend to fuss. Or I don't feel fussy at the moment.
I made a complaining jar job that if the kids fuss/complain too much I make them pick a job out of the jar. I tried to make the jobs ones we don't always do as normally, like wash some baseboards here or there, wash doors, etc., things like that.
I often give the kids too many chances before I make them pick out of the jar I think.
Next, something I am really striving to do, not worry whether life is unfair. Not judge my worth on what I perceive as fair or not, at times.
There are things that I have felt bad about in the past because there were things I really wanted/expected/desired/assumed would/might happen, etc. I also, in truth in the past, sometimes assumed that people would treat me the same way I would treat them! I didn't mean that in a bad way, I just assumed they would show me they cared about me in the same way. Yeah, I hope I am making sense.
Anyway, life just isn't fair. In one way or another. There were times when people completely misjudged me, didn't seem to be there for me during hard times as much (maybe they really were and I just kind of felt that way...don't know...) but the point is it doesn't matter. There HAVE been times when people have been there and have blessed me! I don't mean in any way to belittle that at all! My point is that there are always things that are unfair. I could write a number of things that have happened to me, as I assume we all could.
And sometimes when we are going through hard things, we just need someone to say, "That is hard. You are doing great. I am sorry." Or validation! Validation feels so nice sometimes! But sometimes we can't expect it or assume we will get it all the time. But sometimes we will.
I have decided to try to be nice to others, be friends, forgive and love others as much as I can without assuming they are going to do anything in return. I always knew this, but I am trying to live it even more. I want ME to be like that, Christ-like, and I don't want to hold alterior motives in my heart. Some examples for me personally. If I want to "like" something on facebook even when that person hardly ever or ever likes my stuff, then I will like it and not be mad. If I don't want to, I don't want to do it. If I want to call a friend, I will call them, and if they don't call me back or talk to me, then fine. If I have called a friend, family member twice or more in a row, I try not to feel like I am making more of an effort. I know that sounds silly, but not just in calls, but in anything. You never know what is going on with people in their lives. We can just assume the best.
If I feel like someone has slighted me or is backing off in some way, I try not to judge and I try to assume the best and not be offended. I know there are times in my life when I haven't been as giving back, not because I didn't appreciate or want the friend, etc., but because of circumstances in my life that made it more difficult. And if people just don't want to be my friend for some reason, then they are missing out because I am awesome. You know it.
Okay, I am kidding about me being awesome, but honestly, without joking, we are all different. We just can't know, we can't make things happen, we can choose what we are going to do. I am trying to be like that--to love and not hold a tally on how much I have done and how much they have done, but just be more Christlike. I am not perfect. Ask my kids. Scratch that--don't ask them. haha.
I want to forgive others. Sometimes when I've held a slight hurt in my heart and then later whenever, and things get better, I realize how silly it was, how much better it is to enjoy the family/friend or whatever the relationship and just get over it. No matter what the reason or cause. I don't feel like I have had a lot of those, I hope, but even really little things, I am trying to do my best.
And of course, I can't expect myself to always be perfect. I won't be. But I will keep trying to do my best.
If someone gets to go on five dates in a row and I haven't gone in one for.....however long, I will just be happy for them. And try to go on my own dates. And BY THE WAY, we went on four dates in a row just a bit ago! We took Eli with us for two of them, but they were fun and it was so nice to go out. I called a babysitter and Matthew even did too! Hopefully we can keep going. I am not sure if the five kids wore her out, but we are still trying to figure all that out, but it is working mostly and that is fun.
Another example. This is just one of many. A neighbor who was around my age who had twins that were Mary's age, a boy and a girl, and another 18 month old boy was always trying to help me out. She invited Mary (and Nathan sometimes) over to play a number of times. She told me they could call them when we went to the hospital. She brought my family dinner when we went to the hospital and watched the kids for a bit until my Mom got there. She invited us over a few times (which we couldn't go any of the times for one reason or another, but she tried), and she watched the kids when I went to doctor appointments. She told me I could send the kids over if I needed a nap. It was hard for me to give back to her at that time. I had twin 1 year olds and you guys with kids, and those without, probably know what that is like, and I was pregnant and wasn't always feeling very energetic or well, and two other kids and everything. But she was kind each time and didn't expect me to reciprocate. There are many people like that. And I have some great friends here too that have been wonderful and deserve a shout out as well!
I appreciate everyone so much.
I realize I want to be kind because I want to be like that, not because I want to expect others to be like that back, but because I want to be like the Samaritan who when he saw someone in need, he didn't turn away. And because I just want to love others.
And sometimes I know people are kind back to you when you are nice, but sometimes you can be nice and serve others and still feel like you are left alone and alone. That is when I want to say and not be upset that life is unfair. Because sometimes it is.
Thanks you guys for your awesome example. I watch you. (not in a scary way...hopefully :) and love your guts.
P.S. I also believe all this applies to yourself as well. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself. I am trying to do this for myself as well. Sometimes that can be hard, but it is also important.
Also, I don't want this to feel like too much to do or be or too much expectation. We can't expect to be perfect, like I said already, but it's just something I have thought about a number of times before.
I made a complaining jar job that if the kids fuss/complain too much I make them pick a job out of the jar. I tried to make the jobs ones we don't always do as normally, like wash some baseboards here or there, wash doors, etc., things like that.
I often give the kids too many chances before I make them pick out of the jar I think.
Next, something I am really striving to do, not worry whether life is unfair. Not judge my worth on what I perceive as fair or not, at times.
There are things that I have felt bad about in the past because there were things I really wanted/expected/desired/assumed would/might happen, etc. I also, in truth in the past, sometimes assumed that people would treat me the same way I would treat them! I didn't mean that in a bad way, I just assumed they would show me they cared about me in the same way. Yeah, I hope I am making sense.
Anyway, life just isn't fair. In one way or another. There were times when people completely misjudged me, didn't seem to be there for me during hard times as much (maybe they really were and I just kind of felt that way...don't know...) but the point is it doesn't matter. There HAVE been times when people have been there and have blessed me! I don't mean in any way to belittle that at all! My point is that there are always things that are unfair. I could write a number of things that have happened to me, as I assume we all could.
And sometimes when we are going through hard things, we just need someone to say, "That is hard. You are doing great. I am sorry." Or validation! Validation feels so nice sometimes! But sometimes we can't expect it or assume we will get it all the time. But sometimes we will.
I have decided to try to be nice to others, be friends, forgive and love others as much as I can without assuming they are going to do anything in return. I always knew this, but I am trying to live it even more. I want ME to be like that, Christ-like, and I don't want to hold alterior motives in my heart. Some examples for me personally. If I want to "like" something on facebook even when that person hardly ever or ever likes my stuff, then I will like it and not be mad. If I don't want to, I don't want to do it. If I want to call a friend, I will call them, and if they don't call me back or talk to me, then fine. If I have called a friend, family member twice or more in a row, I try not to feel like I am making more of an effort. I know that sounds silly, but not just in calls, but in anything. You never know what is going on with people in their lives. We can just assume the best.
If I feel like someone has slighted me or is backing off in some way, I try not to judge and I try to assume the best and not be offended. I know there are times in my life when I haven't been as giving back, not because I didn't appreciate or want the friend, etc., but because of circumstances in my life that made it more difficult. And if people just don't want to be my friend for some reason, then they are missing out because I am awesome. You know it.
Okay, I am kidding about me being awesome, but honestly, without joking, we are all different. We just can't know, we can't make things happen, we can choose what we are going to do. I am trying to be like that--to love and not hold a tally on how much I have done and how much they have done, but just be more Christlike. I am not perfect. Ask my kids. Scratch that--don't ask them. haha.
I want to forgive others. Sometimes when I've held a slight hurt in my heart and then later whenever, and things get better, I realize how silly it was, how much better it is to enjoy the family/friend or whatever the relationship and just get over it. No matter what the reason or cause. I don't feel like I have had a lot of those, I hope, but even really little things, I am trying to do my best.
And of course, I can't expect myself to always be perfect. I won't be. But I will keep trying to do my best.
If someone gets to go on five dates in a row and I haven't gone in one for.....however long, I will just be happy for them. And try to go on my own dates. And BY THE WAY, we went on four dates in a row just a bit ago! We took Eli with us for two of them, but they were fun and it was so nice to go out. I called a babysitter and Matthew even did too! Hopefully we can keep going. I am not sure if the five kids wore her out, but we are still trying to figure all that out, but it is working mostly and that is fun.
Another example. This is just one of many. A neighbor who was around my age who had twins that were Mary's age, a boy and a girl, and another 18 month old boy was always trying to help me out. She invited Mary (and Nathan sometimes) over to play a number of times. She told me they could call them when we went to the hospital. She brought my family dinner when we went to the hospital and watched the kids for a bit until my Mom got there. She invited us over a few times (which we couldn't go any of the times for one reason or another, but she tried), and she watched the kids when I went to doctor appointments. She told me I could send the kids over if I needed a nap. It was hard for me to give back to her at that time. I had twin 1 year olds and you guys with kids, and those without, probably know what that is like, and I was pregnant and wasn't always feeling very energetic or well, and two other kids and everything. But she was kind each time and didn't expect me to reciprocate. There are many people like that. And I have some great friends here too that have been wonderful and deserve a shout out as well!
I appreciate everyone so much.
I realize I want to be kind because I want to be like that, not because I want to expect others to be like that back, but because I want to be like the Samaritan who when he saw someone in need, he didn't turn away. And because I just want to love others.
And sometimes I know people are kind back to you when you are nice, but sometimes you can be nice and serve others and still feel like you are left alone and alone. That is when I want to say and not be upset that life is unfair. Because sometimes it is.
Thanks you guys for your awesome example. I watch you. (not in a scary way...hopefully :) and love your guts.
P.S. I also believe all this applies to yourself as well. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself. I am trying to do this for myself as well. Sometimes that can be hard, but it is also important.
Also, I don't want this to feel like too much to do or be or too much expectation. We can't expect to be perfect, like I said already, but it's just something I have thought about a number of times before.
Playing Strawberry Shortcake
Here is about how our strawberry shortcake party went. Mary asked me to play, and basically everyone turned up.
Mary: Here Mommy, you can be this one.
Me: Okay...John, what are you doing?
Mary: Eli! Stop taking that! (the pieces were so tempting to take)
Nathan: Can I play?
Mary: Okay, let's pretend we moved to a new place.
John: (has an alligator and has joined our party) RRRRR. (or whatever sound his noise was exactly here.)
James: (softly and lightly playing with Diego and his cow)
Mary: Let's go to sleep.
Me: Okay.
John: (snoring noises with his alligator)
Nathan: Knock-knock. (Nathan's lego person is knocking at the door)
John is still making snoring noises. And then he opens the alligator's mouth a few times.
Me: Hey, Nathan, get Eli off that please.
That was part of it. It was fun.
Mary: Here Mommy, you can be this one.
Me: Okay...John, what are you doing?
Mary: Eli! Stop taking that! (the pieces were so tempting to take)
Nathan: Can I play?
Mary: Okay, let's pretend we moved to a new place.
John: (has an alligator and has joined our party) RRRRR. (or whatever sound his noise was exactly here.)
James: (softly and lightly playing with Diego and his cow)
Mary: Let's go to sleep.
Me: Okay.
John: (snoring noises with his alligator)
Nathan: Knock-knock. (Nathan's lego person is knocking at the door)
John is still making snoring noises. And then he opens the alligator's mouth a few times.
Me: Hey, Nathan, get Eli off that please.
That was part of it. It was fun.
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