Mothers and what we do all day

          This isn’t going to be the best written piece on motherhood.  I have read some fantastic essays, news articles, thoughts, etc. on the subject that have made me laugh, cry, and feel purpose and meaning and validation.

            Motherhood is hard.  And glorious.  And hard work.  And rewarding.  And exhausting.  And all good things and more.  It is something next to pure sacrifice and a learning experience like no other.

           

            I have a child who has tested me a lot in motherhood.  I think there are lot of mothers who might feel that way.  I love this child deeply.  They are special, creative, full of life and energy, and also different than I was at that age in how they react.  They are also similar to me in some ways, too.  I guess that makes sense.  Learning through this child about motherhood has taught me the importance of love, trying, patience, creativity, and seeking the Lord.  All of my children have taught me those things.

            I sure love my kids.  I didn’t realize what motherhood was or how demanding and completely emotionally investing it was.  I was not aware of it.  I remember distinctly thinking “I won’t do that when I’m a Mom, my kids won’t be like that, I will not do that with my kids, I won’t act like that as a Mom, I won’t feel that way…etc.”  and I have been humbled to realize that most of the things I said I wouldn’t do I have done.  I have bribed at times.  I have been impatient with my kids at times.  I have felt exhausted and probably looked stressed out in public.  My kids have thrown tantrums in stores, church, home, friend’s houses, etc.  This job is NOT an easy job. 

            Sure, for some Moms maybe they think, hey this is no big deal.  I don’t see what the issue is.  I love being a Mom.  Hurray to you.  We admire you.  We envy you.  We also wonder what the heck is wrong with you, or maybe what is wrong with US.  But truthfully, I also love being a Mom.  But I do not feel like joyously yelling out that song all the time.  Sometimes I want to scream out how I need a break and that I cannot help five needy children at the same time.

            I also naively thought how much time you would have as a Mom.  I laugh now.  I even had someone say:  Now that you have more time now, you can probably do this now…(she was talking about a specific thing) and I remember not knowing what to say, but I think I tried to mention how I try, but I get busy or something.  I had kids ages 7, 5, 2 year old twins, and about a six month old baby when she said this.  All Moms out there probably will have the same reaction that I did.  More time now?

            I know that college, jobs, etc., are demanding and I am in no way saying that people without kids or only one or two kids have a lot more time.  Of course not.  But until you actually understand how demanding, emotionally, mess-wise, etc. being a Mom is, you do not know the time it takes to be one.

            People used to ask me when I had one kid especially, “What do you do all day?”  Specifically, this question mostly came from men.  I felt like holding up my baby at the time and saying:  “Do you see him?  That is what I do all day.”  I don’t think they meant to not understand, but I remember even with one child how busy I was.  Every baby is different and some may be easier, but my first child took my attention almost all day long.  My fifth is different and my easiest, even though he still takes my time to take care of him.

            Now I am not trying to write too long about this, but I decided just a few days ago to write out a list of what I did that day.  I didn’t write anything I did personally, just my job as a mother.  I still ate, got ready, etc.  But here is my list for the day as I wrote it down.  Of course I could not write everything down, but it is a pretty good list.  And this day is pretty average.  Some things I did more of and some things I did less of, but about average.

-dressed 3 little boys

-changed 3 diapers

-got breakfast for 4 kids

-fed baby the bottle

-got my son off to school

-got my daughter off to school riding with a friend, pulled her carseat out of our car, and loaded it in the friend’s car, helping daughter in.

-unloaded dishwasher

-loaded dishwasher

-took out kitchen trash

-put baby down for a nap

-played mediator for kids

-changed a messy diaper

-gathered clothes, started a load of laundry

-unloaded laundry from dryer to couch

(found rug parts in dryer…. the rug we washed had small parts off the back fall off in the washer and had to clean out.  Lots of pieces, but not too bad to clean up.)

-picked up shoes and put in the shoe basket in laundry room

-got twins a snack

-got baby out of nap

-fed baby a jar of baby food

-fed baby a bit of bottle

-changed laundry from washer to dryer

-started another load of laundry

-chased baby around the floor)

-dealt with twins’ fights

-got old containers from the fridge from Thanksgiving, etc. out and cleaned them out and loaded them in dishwasher

-threw old food in the fridge away

-got 2 year old twins lunch

-cleaned twins off

-put baby down for another nap

-changed a messy diaper

-got a twin out of my room

-listened to some screaming

-daughter came home from school, talked to me about her day.

-got daughter lunch

-changed a diaper

-one of the twins cried about something

-cuddled one of the twins. (while I was doing this he bonked his head into my mouth and hit my mouth and tooth.  Didn’t feel good.  I was exhausted and cried, but more from exhaustion than hurting...I was okay, just a moment of feeling tired.)

-put twins down for a nap.

-picked up toys throughout the day here and there

-got the mail

-took laundry out of the dryer

-switched laundry into dryer

-started another load of laundry

-changed a messy diaper

-fed the baby a bottle

-changed the baby's clothes from a diaper I think and realized I had put his pants on before buttoning his onesie and had to take pants off and redo it.

-took clothes out of dryer to couch

-folded and put away some laundry

-played with the baby and made him giggle

-found an address, addressed a card

-switched laundry from washer to dryer

-put baby down for a nap

-hung a few line-dry clothes

-started another load of laundry

-wrapped a Christmas present with Mary and Nathan

-signed off homework

-got kids snacks

-fed the baby a bottle

-changed a messy diaper

-chased the baby around the floor

-talked with son who got home from school

-watched the baby more while he crawled around so he didn’t pick up anything to put in his mouth

-helped the kids get downstairs to play down there.

-some screaming at me from a child, not listening to me.

-twins fighting over car

-took laundry out of dryer

-switched clothes from washer to dryer

-had to get twins off of a changing table a number of times that they were climbing on

-drew letters for the twins, and while I did it, the baby crawled across the writing board

-had to talk with a kid again about something

-tried to make the kid happy and acted a little silly to see if that would make them smile.

-fed baby another solid baby food

-played and a little bit silly with one of the twins and the baby

-got one of the twins off the couch where he was touching the blinds

-found one of the twins sticking his hand into a hot chocolate cup with remnants of chocolate on the sides and licking his hand

-helped one of the twins get pants back on after they took them off somewhere

-threw a crumb away from the baby toward the kitchen and hit one of the wise men in the nativity set

-twins followed me in the bathroom, one was crying

-listened to twins crying, a child asking questions, and another kid around when I was on the phone with someone

-helped kids in bed, little bit of not listening then, but not too bad.

            Okay, that was the day.  I didn’t write everything of course, but that was a lot of things.  I often read books to the twins, spend a little more time playing possibly, but there were a few things I was trying to get done, too.  There was comforting, playing referee, disciplining, feeding, taking care of, playing with, etc.  Being a Mom is busy.  What do we do all day?

            Everything.