Babies Conversation

James:  John!  What are you doing?  Are you sleeping...wait...it's my turn to be awake!
John:  No, it's my turn.  Mom got to hold you already.   Shut your eyes and say good night.
James:  I don't like your attitude, buddy.  And because of that I am going to cry harder.  Try all you want, but it is MY turn to be awake.
John:  Fine, but when you're done, I am waking up.
James:  Deal.
John:  You know, it would be fun if we both stayed awake.  Mommy likes that. 
James:  Okay.
John:  You snuggle into her left shoulder and try not to cry in her ear, though.  I don't think she likes that.
James:  How would you know?  Have you heard the phrase:  "That's music to my ears?"  Who do you think made that up?
John:  I don't know James.  Who?
James:  Moms.  All that talk about not liking baby crying is fake.  I mean, have you seen the way she looks at us?  She thinks we're cute.
John:  Well, I've seen the way she looks at me.  She definitely thinks I am adorable.
James:  You know the word adorable?  Wow, your vocabulary...
John:  Ya, when you hear it all the time, you pick it up.
James:  I guess that's true.  You pee all the time.  I mean, I pee too, of course, but you, WOW!  I wish I had the ability to process my liquids like that.  You are amazing.
John:  Thank you.  I personally think daddy loves changing my clothes in the middle of the night, it gives us more time to be together.  And sometimes I just want a change.  Oh....and something else.  If I don't like the clothes they pick out and they are changing my diaper I just pee right then.  They get the message.
James:  That's nice.
John:  But let's not forget you!  You are a master at spitting up on the floor.  Where did you learn that?
James:  It's kind of more like a talent.  It's natural.  It's not something I have to work at.  I guess you didn't get that gene.  Sometimes Mommy seems a little cranky at washing the floor again, but I am always smiling when I do it, so she never seems to be too mad. 
John:  That's a good idea.  I will start smiling when I pee.  That way, they can't sigh and give each other "that look."
James:  Ya.  But let's try to rest because I am feeling ti..r...e.........d.
John:  ZZzzzzzzzz