March 8, 2011
Me and stress are like two peas in a pod--we like to hang out.
Sometimes I tell it to get lost, get it's own place to live, but it continually shows up.
I don't even invite it.
For me and most other moms, our days are super busy and full of the unexpected and demands. The worst possible time of stress for me so far was when I was sick with two kids. Usually when you have the flu, your spouse or someone takes care of your kids, takes care of you, and you are left to suffer without anything else. I am grateful that time of stress is over with.
But now, I still have to deal with it daily. I still have to take care of my health. I have twins. I have two other, RAMBUNCTIOUS little kids.
For example (since I don't know why anyone would actually care, but I am pretending I am writing this as if writing to myself, so here goes it)
Yesterday -- (typical day by comparison)
Did two loads of dishes
Unpacked two boxes in the family room
Unpacked three boxes in my room
Moved a bookcase and books
Made lunch for kids
Stopped fights
Heard "Mommy" a lot.
Read books to Mary.
Made most of dinner.
Fed babies both a solid for lunch
Made lots of bottles and fed twins bottles
Dealt with crying James on and off most of the day
Wrote bills
Held, carried babies
Exercised for twenty minutes
Cleaned up messes
Went potty
Looking at this list, I actually fill sicker than I did. What?! I did all those things? (I'm grateful about the potty one...) Anyway, those things are a normality in my life. They happen frequently.
AND I am not what I would call a "natural" at being a mom. I feel impatient quickly sometimes. I have to breathe before I talk when Nathan can be a little sassy or Mary. I have to work on it all the time. I think most people are like that--though I have met some people who are amazing and it's not so hard for them!
So for me, these are things I think of daily to help me with my stress--they help. I have learned some of them from being sick or just being alive. I have to practice every day. Some days are better. Some aren't!
- breathe (I sometimes sit on the couch, close my eyes and practice breathing in through my nose, watching my stomach rise, and out my mouth). Breathing is one of the most important!
- pray constantly. I have saying lots of prayers throughout the day that I won't lose it or for help.
--notice how much I've done and should I rest now? I actually have to logically think that, or I would just keep going until I was so sick I couldn't move.
-laugh as much as I can. At myself. At TV. At the kids. Laugh when things seem like they couldn't get any worse!
-take hot baths almost every day (really does help me a lot)
-make and eat good food (this is super important for me...I can't always buy what I need packaged with my health, so I make a lot, which makes me work more, but I need to do that at times).
-be kind to myself and tell myself it's ok and it's okay to not be perfect and it's okay to rest and yes, I have had a hard time and why wouldn't I be feeling cranky!! :)
-do things like write or create--especially journal writing. I think doing this even more would benefit me.
-pick and choose what battles I want to fight (with kids)
-decide which things are essential or not when I am feeling worn out or when I am busy--which is all the time, basically :)
-let the little things fly off me. (sometimes I am pretty good at this...sometimes I am not :)
Some days even when I try my absolute best, stress seems to get the better of me. So I just accept that. I can only do what I can. I find though, when I accept facts like this, I seem to get better faster! (Not always though).
I honestly think that learning how to manage stress is something that should be taught! We just assume that people who can do more are just better! The truth is, it is something that can be learned. Even then, we all will have different stress levels and that's okay! We all have different gifts and abilities and we just try to learn to do our best. Nothing more.
See how I am still telling myself this? I love it.
5 comments:
i enjoyed this post, especially the list of the things you have learned. and your day in the life, geez! you got a ton of stuff done!! i always feel so much better about everything when i am being productive, half the battle is just commiting to whatever it is i plan to do!
keep up the good work!
oh, and i haven't forgotten that you asked for a list of book recommendations... i'll make you a list. :O)
I like all your strategies for stress relief.
Where is your new house? Utah?
Becky, you are AMAZING! . . . and we need to talk--SOON. I need to hear your update. And we need to plan a get together, because I don't want to put it off any longer.
I want to know where you new house is too! you can fb message me if you want/remember. when we moved I thought I was doing well if I unpacked 1 box/day. (in my defense, since you did 4! I was 17 weeks pregnant at the time and suffering from morning sickness. but I only had one amazing 4 year old, not 4 demanding kids, soo...you are amazing!)
Stress does come, even when it's not invited! How rude.
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