July 25, 2011
This is something I have to work on, so I thought I'd just share a few things that help me :)
1. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself in how you talk to yourself. Congratulate yourself, allow yourself to give yourself some leeway and don't fall into the trap of comparing what you can do with what others can do. We can't really see into others' lives anyway, so it's illogical to compare ourselves.
2. Have Heavenly Father be your best friend. Pray always. I work on this and try to pray throughout the day to feel close to my Heavenly Father. There are always things I can work on with this, but when I do pray more often, I feel closer to Him and sense His love for me more keenly.
3. Focus on the moment--not what's going to happen later, or the mess-up last night, etc. Focus on the simple, small moments and deal with them. Being a mom with a lot of things happening at once, as well as the fact that I am quite a thinker, can sometimes prompt me to focus on other things and not on what is happening! I have really worked on this and have found more joy in the simple things as I focus on the present moment.
4. See the good--focus on the positive. One thing, I'd like to share is that I know that Heavenly Father has confidence in me. I don't always feel confident in myself with the trials and responsibilities I have, but then I know that Heavenly Father is confident in me and that knowledge helps me trudge forward! It often helps me feel better too. But, one day after church a few months ago I felt at my wit's end.
Does anyone even know what a wit is?
The kids had been extra bad in Sacrament meeting--meaning Mary and Nathan. They wouldn't listen, they were wiggly, and Mary kept calling for daddy loudly whenever I told her to be more reverent. Besides this, the twins were so tired and wiggly and crying. It's difficult at times to deal with Nathan and Mary when we are dealing with the twins. (I think they are also aware of this fact) I have yet to totally figure this out, except to keep trying :)
After that experience when I came home I felt really discouraged and felt like I wasn't being a good mom and my kids were awful. (Awful acting, not awful kids.) But right when I started feeling discouraged I had a thought, a reminder really, come into my mind that Heavenly Father knew what He was doing when he sent me the twins. And then the feeling and testimony that God does have confidence in us in the trials he gives us. I mean, we'll still have trials, but Heavenly Father doesn't give us trials and responsibilities to fail, he gives us trials and responsibilities to succeed.
I really believe that. And I believed it then and it helped lift the discouragement off of me. Still, my kids aren't perfect in church, some days are definitely better than others, but we keep trying. I keep praying, and I sometimes wonder why I can't be a better mom and get my kids to act better, but then I remember all this and try to relax and have faith. That's all I can do after all.
I just wanted to share some thoughts today on being positive that I personally work on.
5 comments:
I have felt like that so many times during sacrament meeting. It's especially hard when the naughtiest culprits are your older ones. Those kind of things really will get easier, I promise. But in the meantime, I'm glad you have found a way to stay positive. I know Heavenly Father loves us and won't leave us alone during our discouraging times. I can tell from being around you and Matthew (as little as we are) that you are good parents and I admire the two of you so much! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)
Thanks for sharing this. It was what I needed today. I thought your kids were pretty good in church on Sunday, especially Nathan. I learned this week that my expectations make a big difference too. I was expecting to spend all of sacrament meeting in the hall while Jonathan was speaking, so I was pleasantly surprised when I got to listen a little. Way to stay positive Becky!
Being positive is one I struggle with too. I feel like it is something I constantly have to strive for. Some days are better than others. I don't know why it is, but church is always tough. It seems like week after week we struggle through the 3 hour block and I leave feeling completely frazzled, and often times drenched with sweat from the 3 hour wrestling match, and I only have 1 baby!! I often get frustrated that I went to church and leave feeling like I wasn't at all spiritually fed. Then randomly my kids will share something that I know didn't come from me. I know they learned it from church and their classes. It reminds me that it is worth the struggle to make sure they gain a testimony. Thanks for the reminder to stay positive and the ideas to help! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
You are super awesome and don't ever forget that. Thanks for being such a great friend.
thanks for the awesome post! you definitely inspire me to be a better person all around!
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