Wednesday

May 23, 2012

I wanted to write today out.  I know that I have done that a bit, but there were some memorable things and I realize that I will not write out a lot of our days in general.

This morning while I fed Eli, John came up from his room with an armful of socks.  I tried to do a count and there were about 20 socks in his arms.  He took them around the house.  He brought them on the couch next to me and then threw them off, one or a few at a time.  I think he brought them back on the couch to do it again, but I can't remember for sure.

Matthew went to lunch with Nathan at school.  Matthew said Nathan's teacher, Mrs. Stratton, told him that Nathan had been talking about it a few times that morning.  Matthew and Nathan got a chimi.  Matthew said it was pretty gross, but said Nathan did that try not to smile thing he does when he saw him.

When I went to put the twins down for a nap, I saw that James' crib had piles of clothes in it.  There were a lot!  I took a picture of it.  There was also a shoe and some other stuff.

I played Pretty, Pretty, Princess with Mary after the twins went down for a nap and Eli was sleeping.  Mary has asked me a number of days to play again.  We played sometime last week I think and she has asked ever since.  She is so cute when she plays.  Today she won and loved it.

I made beef stew in the crock pot.  Matthew was surprised when I talked to him on the phone because he said he didn't think I'd have enough time to do it.  It doesn't take too long, but sometimes I am busy to do it.  However, Eli was crying during the last few minutes of it :)

I paid the phone bill.  Holy smokes.  Mary said "holy smokes" the other day and I thought that was kind of funny.

John wanted some cuddle time today after I put Eli down.  I came back to sit down and he begged to get up and sit in my lap.  John pretends everything is a phone, from remotes to cars to his hand, to anything.  Right now he is using some kid pager.  He holds it up to my ear and wants me to talk.  He is happy when I talk to it.  I pretend to talk to someone.

I cleaned the dishes and washed counters and did trash.  I started some laundry and folded laundry and put some away.

I feel really blessed.  Yesterday I was talking to a friend about a specific thing and felt really good and peaceful about the situation.  I felt as if perspective was poured into me as well as just peace about it.  My heart was filled with gratitude and happiness about it.  It probably wasn't as big of a deal to talk about, but I felt better after I had talked about it.  I appreciate her listening and talking to me about it. :)

Sometimes I can't believe I am hard on myself.  There are some things that I struggle doing.  And then it's like I open my eyes and see all the things I can do and have been blessed to do and I am able to.  I clean everyday, watch all the kids, still try to be nice, and yet, sometimes I feel stressed/focused on the things that I can't or struggle doing.  It's different for me than other people.  But perhaps someone else can do the things I struggle with with ease, but watching five kids and doing it everyday might be really hard for them.  Well, not like it's super easy for me all the time...:)  But sometimes I just need perspective.  And Heavenly Father does not judge us the way we might imagine He does.  He is not as concerned about certain issues as we are.  Well, I feel that way about my life, that He is not as worried about things as I am, and He just loves me and is there for me and tries and does remind me that I am special and His daughter and He forgives me when I keep trying.

I listen to the scriptures on my iphone sometimes.  It's kind of a different thing hearing the scriptures instead of reading them.  I have pleasantly been surprised that I enjoy hearing them.  I don't do it everyday that way, but once in a while I will.

James and John can be little stinkers.  James runs away from me if I suggest diaper changes or am too close to the diapers.  He also says "uh-uh" a lot and shakes his head indicating no when he does not want to do things.  John also does that now.  They also think I do not feed them often enough or adequately.  I feel like I am always giving them food.  Today, I gave them both bowls of crackers.  John ate his faster (like normal) and stole James's bowl, finished his crackers and handed the empty bowl back to James.  James did not like that one bit.  This is a common thing, stealing James's stuff.  Sometimes I am at a loss of how to help him when I am helping Eli.  Oh well.

Goodnight :)