I have a migraine/bad headache. I woke up, and went to bed with it. So just a little after 5 I believe, I got out of bed and came into the family room to lay on my pointy pillow. It had spikes..little plastic spikes. It has helped a little in the past, if the reason for my headache is my neck or tight muscles, or whatever, but it helps. And the question is, who doesn't like pointy spiky pillows at 5 in the morning?? haha, it wasn't too bad. So, as I laid there in my quiet house (someone was playing at the bottom of the stairs for a little bit, but I was quiet, and they went away....this doesn't always work...:) I was looking for an address on my phone via my gmail. And as I did, I found some old messages between this friend. Here is a part I wrote from years ago when I was suffering from health problems and struggles.
"Actually, something you said brought a story to mind...so I hope you don't mind if I share it.
When I was really bad (I couldn't sit up without my jaw and body shaking a bit), my relief society president came over. She is a dear friend and was a true help. She gave me a list I had asked for. It was a list of names that could help me at a moment's notice. (I did ask for that). Then she asked if she could take away my visiting teaching. I felt so pathetic but I needed to not do it--I couldn't even do the basics of life, so no visiting teaching. She even said they could have someone come over everyday to help me and the kids. This is where I am prideful. Even though I was really really sick I said no. I couldn't stand the thought of someone coming over to help me that much. I don't like to think of it as prideful...but I think my heart hurt. And I was so embarrassed.
Luckily, I made it through without help everyday.
Then she asked what they could do.
The only thing I wanted and asked without trying to cry was for someone to come visit me. That was the thing I wanted most--not people to watch my kids, not meals (even those things were appreciated a lot especially since Matthew made up weird meals...some of it was good!!! hehe) I just wanted someone to visit me. She said she'd take care of it.
No one came over, but her and this one other girl, but it was wonderful.
I learned a lot about the Savior's admonition to visit the sick. A lot. I would have never known."
Okay, so that was most of the letter. I don't know why I wrote this, but reflecting on this now, about four years later or so, something comes to mind, that I am thinking about.
When someone is suffering, whether or not they are suffering the way you think they should, or doing everything perfect, just love them. Don't tell them to suffer better.
I mean, don't criticize them for the things they did wrong. I personally learned a number of things I could have done better and I was in no way perfect, but I learned those things myself. And I think we often all do! I am not meaning this in a prideful way, or a way to sound cranky about past things--not at all. I am saying this because it gives me peace--because the words flow, and feel peaceful to my heart.
Let someone suffer how they do, and not one of us will be perfect. Let us just love, listen, and be a true friend.
I love you all. And I will stop writing sappy things now...or something.
The end. Now back to my pointy pillow...maybe. :)
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